Chocolate Heart
by secretwriter07
Summary: AU  Miranda Black had spent 12 years taking care of Harry, and swearing to her brother's innocent. Taking a new job at hogwarts, she runs into her teenage crush, Remus Lupin. Can she deal with the feelings that are still there or will her heart be broken
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: I created this story for fun and have a different take on Harry Potter. So if you don't like AU's, then you probably should skip this story.

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><p>Of course, he had gotten pictures, he had even visited a few times when Harry was still young, but mostly Remus had avoided going back to see the boy since that fateful Halloween night. However, the comparison was undeniably when he had seen the boy on the train. Now, as he made his way up to the grounds of Hogwarts, heading for the Great hall that he had known and loved for so long, he couldn't help but think back to Harry's face. He was so much, so very much like his father. The looks were eerily similar, as if Prongs had suddenly sprung back to life before his very eyes. Only there was one difference, two if he hadn't been mistaken. First and most obvious was the fact that Harry had Lily's eyes. Those green emerald eyes that could probably set you on fire where you stood if you had done something to cross them. If it hadn't been for James' messy hair, glasses, nose, lips, body, it could have been Lily standing there. That was also where they seemed similar, though from their brief encounter, Remus couldn't be quite sure. Harry had Lily's spirit, her personality, her very fire. It was amazing to see, as if his two old friends hadn't really died, that they had just shifted to become Harry. It was shocking.<p>

So, now, as he hurried up the steps and through the halls, he was bound and determined to talk to the one person who could confirm everything he was thinking about Harry; Miranda Black. He almost expected to be faced with some sort of anger. After all, over the years, he had made it a point of avoiding seeing Harry from guilt of not doing anything for James and Lily. But also because of Sirius. Questions rang in the back of his head, but he still, to the very day, could not face them. The betrayal was almost too deep to face, the pain too fresh, especially with Harry wearing the face and eyes of the ghosts of his parents. No, he was certain he was going to get yelled at by her, but stepping into the Great Hall, he couldn't spot her yet. Just Severus Snape. Letting out a small sigh of disappointment at not finding the last remaining Black, Lupin walked forward up to the staff table and took his spot at the Defense Against the Dark Art's spot. Really, he owed such a great debt to Dumbledore, because not even four months ago would he have believed that he would be sitting in this very seat, returning back to Hogwarts for another year. However, as he sat, he could feel Severus' eyes burning holes into the side of his face. Finally, unable to stand it or deny it much longer, Remus glanced over at Snape and offered up a small smile, a sign of peace between them.

"Hello Severus. It's good to see you again," he said, trying to be cordial and courteous.

"Funny. I would say it was just the opposite," Severus sneered back, turning his gaze away from Lupin and looking back forward. "Still having problems around this time of the month?"

Remus let out a breath and looked back down. Of course, nothing would change. He really hadn't expected it to, but at least they could act professional towards each other.

"As a matter of fact, yes. I would have been here sooner if it hadn't been for the...'problem.' Though, I am quite excited for the deal that Dumbledore has worked out. After all, you always were the best with potions in our class," Lupin offered, even going out of his way to compliment Severus. However, it had left no dent in Severus' cold attitude.

"You may be excited, but all I see it as is more work. Work for something that I should not have to concern myself with," Severus hissed back. Shaking his head, Remus just looked back down at the golden plate that lay before him and decided it was best to ignore the snide comments. After all, the werewolf had dealt with them all his life. It was only to be expected. However, the next venom-filled comment wasn't directed at Lupin's condition. Rather, it was focused on a different raw nerve.

"I assume you've seen the dementors. I heard from Dumbledore himself that they are all itching to get their hands on Black. You wouldn't happen to know where he is, would you?" Severus asked. Remus glanced back over at his old classmate, and straightened up.

"No. I have no idea honestly. I only hope that...that he is caught. And soon," Remus said stiffly. He paused for a moment, before speaking up again. "Either way, you might want to avoid the topic of Sirius' escape, especially when Miranda is around." Severus straightened immediately, as if someone had just shocked him.

"Miranda? You mean his sister is going to be here as well? Why don't you just hand him the keys to getting in to Hogwarts? This is ridiculous." Remus could feel a rant starting up with Severus, one that he had probably been suppressing since their school days, but as he looked up and noticed Miranda walking into the Great Hall, he quickly tried to step in and silence the Slytherin before his tongue got away with him.

"Um, Professor?"

"And another thing! That dirty murderer already slipped past the Dementors. He'll probably do it again. Lord knows how he's going to get in."

"Er, Severus? Really."

"He is a dirty, rotten murderer, not to mention a betrayer and backstabber. Nearly tries to kill me, then kills his friends? I cannot wait for the day he is back in Azkaban."

"Snape! Enough!" Remus hissed, shutting Severus up. But it had been too late. Damage had been done. Lupin shifted his eyes over to Miranda and gave her a small smile.

"Hello again, Miranda."

_Earlier..._

Miranda and Harry stood on the platform nine and three quarters. The Wesley's were all ready standing there, waiting for the kids to load. It had been a rough thirteen years raising Harry, and struggling making ends meet. She was just lucky that Harry was such an understanding kid. He always tried to help her now, with the money his parents left him, but she always refused. It was his money, not her own. If she had not had Molly giving her motherly advice, and willing to watch harry when she was working, she would never had been able to make it. Somehow, she always thought that Lily would have made a better mother then she was. She was always unsure about every step, she took with Harry. At least with the new job at Hogwarts, she would be able to help Harry, and possibly...she stopped her train of thought. She just couldn't go there.

"Miranda!" She heard Molly called. She waved at her, smiling. She walked behind harry as he rushed forward, pushing his trunk and Hedwig, the bird protesting at the speed.

"Harry! Slow Down!" Miranda called after him. "You'll run someone over with that cart!" She sighed getting out her wand, casting a spell on the cart so it suddenly stopped and didn't move. She put the wand back into her pocket, walking up. She kissed his head. "So glad, you listened, Harry," She said sweetly. "You are such a good boy." She saw the usual glare, which caused her to laugh. She hugged his side, but knew he was going through that teenage boy, 'can't be seen being hugged by my mother' phase. She helped him get his stuff on the train, and him on the train as well. She stood with Molly, waving good bye to the children.

"Does he know you got a job over at Hogwarts?" Molly asked as they waved, smiling. Her smile got wider as she continued to wave. "Not a clue," Miranda answered. She heard Molly laugh, shaking her head. She let her arm fall. "Well I better get going. I am going to use floo powder to get there." Giving a nod, she said a quick goodbye, then rushed off back to her quiet home in the country, and got her things together. When she got to Hogwarts, she immediately heard about the incidence on the train with dementors and worry immediately filled her. She dropped her stuff at her office, then rushed to the great hall to check on Harry. She walked down the line quickly, finding him quickly. She eyed him, and relaxed a little. She would never forgive herself if something happened to Harry. She tried to walk by, but it seems his friends saw her and caught his attention. She walked over, pausing at him.

"What are you doing here?" Harry asked, confused. She lightly pushed on his head.

"Is that anyway to greet your guardian?" She asked, crossing her arms. She would never make him call her mom or anything of the sort. It wasn't fair to Lily and it was unrealistic. She was not his mother, but she did think of Harry as her own son.

"Please tell me you didn't rush here about the dementors," Harry whined. She paused thinking about it, and then got very serious.

"Yes, I am," She answered. "I was very concerned. We may not be blood, but I still worry about you." Harry groaned, glaring at Ron as he snickered. Miranda took this moment to head towards the table in the front. She saw Remus, and immediately, her face lit up. His face on the other hand looked awfully distraught. She was surprised to see him talking to Snape. She walked up, and realized why.

"He is a dirty, rotten murderer, not to mention a betrayer and backstabber. Nearly tries to kill me, and then kills his friends? I cannot wait for the day he is back in Azkaban," She heard Snape curse on. The light faded from her face, as anger started to boil over. She saw Snape look up at her then away as Remus tried to smile.

"Hello again, Miranda," Remus said. She looked at him, and sighed.

"Hello, Remus," She replied shortly. "Good to see you two bonding over the hatred of my brother," She hissed. Her eyes staring daggers at Snape. "Really, Severus, isn't it calling the kettle black?" She asked coldly.

She left it as is as she took the seat on the other side of Remus. She looked out at the dinner, many of the kids, staring curiously at them. She had to keep her composer. She needed to keep her composer. She was the new history teacher, and she had set an example for the kids. She looked over at Remus, looking far more narrowed.

"Why the hell haven't you been around for Christmas?" She demanded. "I would think you would want to be around your best friend's son. I mean, wasn't it you who promised to help with Harry? It was the only way I would take him." She sighed, shaking her head. "Never mind. I know why." She looked forward, quieting down, when Dumbledore stood up in front to start the introductions. It was going to be a long year.

It definitely was nice to see Miranda again. If Remus had missed one person the most, it was Miranda. However, meeting back up with her again, it went not quite like how he had imagined. His smile quickly diminished as she hissed at him about hating her brother. He sighed and looked down at his plate again with a bit of a shame. It only got worse when he was accused of avoiding Harry. The truth was, he couldn't bare to see that face of his. Not to mention, his condition always seemed to get in the way. The last thing he wanted was to put Harry or Miranda in danger.

Severus however had a little less sympathies. "I'm sure I don't know what you mean, Miranda. I, unlike your brother, have never falsely lead someone into a deserted house where a raging werewolf had just transformed. Or perhaps you would like to explain that it was just a joke that went horribly wrong," he snapped back at her, before looking forward with an ice cold glare. Dumbledore started up on his speech and everyone fell quiet as he explained the dementors' presence on the grounds and why they would remain. There was a definite note of displeasure in Dumbledore's voice as he spoke about it.

Finally though, he set them free to enjoy their meals, the food appearing magically in front of them as always, and a small bit of happiness appeared back to Remus' face. He waited a few moments, before he finally got the courage up to speak to Miranda again. "You know, I was there on the train when the dementors came on board," Lupin said to her under his breath to her. "In fact, I was in the same car as Harry. I still can't believe how much he looks like James. It's almost like looking at his ghost. But he acts so much like Lily, even has her eyes." He paused for a moment, looking down in sorrow as he pushed a bit of mashed potatoes around on his plate. "Anyway, you might want to watch him carefully. The dementors...well, they have an interesting effect on him. He ended up passing out, and then when he woke up, he said that he heard screaming. I gave him some chocolate though, so he should be fine now."

Lupin paused, before glancing up again, his eyes finding the son of his two friends. He let out a sad sigh, before eating a bit. He had missed so much. He couldn't help but feel a twinge of self-hatred sparking up again. As if he didn't already have enough to hate himself for, especially now that he was being reminded by Severus of the incident where he almost killed the potion master, but now, missing out on Harry's life.

"And...I'm sorry I wasn't there. Honestly, Miranda, I thought I could do it, just ignore my condition and being there, but...I couldn't. I really am sorry. I hope that...well, perhaps I could make it up now that we're here and that I have a stable supply of the potion. Please...accept my apology?" Remus turned his tired, grey eyes towards Miranda, his old schoolmate, and hoped that perhaps he could somehow manage to work his way back into her good graces. Somehow.

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><p><em>12 years earlier, <em>

_Miranda sat across the table, a lawyer sitting in front of them, the will of James and Lily in her hand. The day had been horrible. They just had to bury both of her best friends, their son in her arms. She swallowed, looking at the one year old, bouncing his hands on the table, wanting to know what is going on. Her heart ached horribly for the boy who would never know the treasure that were his parents. She kissed his head, as she bounced her leg trying to continue to keep the child happy._

_"All right, I would like to read the last will and testament of James and Lily Potter," The lawyer announced, getting formal. She felt a hand on her right knee, glancing down at the hand. She looked up, seeing Remus glance at her with a confronting glance. She had lost so much all ready. Her brother was in Azkaban for the so called murder of Lily and James. She was alone now. The rest of the Blacks had disowned her, or she wanted nothing to do with them. It had been the first time in months since she saw Remus, and she was so confused._

_"To our trusted friends, Miranda and Sirius Black, we give her our greatest gift, Harry. Watch over him, and protect him as you would if he was your own son. Everything that we own will be left to our friends, and what is left to be liquidated and put into an account in our son, Harry's, name," Lawyer announced. _

_Miranda sat there, looking at the child, shaking her head. They had left her Harry. They blindly trusted her. She shook her head, getting up. "I can't take care of him!" Miranda cried. She held onto the boy, staring at him in horror. Remus stood up immediately next to her and touched her arm soothingly. "It's going to be okay, Miranda. I promise. It'll be okay. Everything is going to be okay," he said to her. He touched his hand to the small boy's back, rubbing it slightly. He was still so young, so small, and the lightning bolt on his forehead was just starting to heal up properly. Letting out a sigh, Remus looked back to Miranda. "Trust me; you won't have to go through this alone. Okay? I...I'll be there for you, whenever you need me. You won't have to raise Harry alone, okay?" _

As Miranda look back on it, it seemed like a foolish dream or idea. Remus had his condition, and he would never be able to be fully there. She had known why he had disappeared after a few months, and why he stopped coming by for Christmas. She licked her lips and looked over at Remus.

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><p>"It's all right now," She muttered. "I have most of it under control. There will be times when it comes to male things I may not understand, but I know I can do it. He depends on me just as much as I depend on him. We are the only family we have any more in the world." She watched as Harry talked excitedly with his friends at dinner, and knew, when he turned eighteen, she would be alone. She felt that familiar pang when she lost everyone she cared about. She looked over at him, the one person she cared about most. She had always been there for everything, even when he first turned, but he still had cut her out of his life.<p>

"You know as well as I that no potion will ever work on it, Remus. I just want you to know that I never have been scared of you. I just wish you didn't punish Harry for whatever it is you are running from." She stood from her seat at the table, deciding it was a good time to unpack her things and get away from the judgments, and the familiar pain of losing that foolish dream, she had held onto.

Before Remus could say a word, Miranda was up and walking away from the table. He looked over at her, wishing that she wouldn't have walked away. After all, it was the first time he had seen her in months, years now that he thought about it. He watched as she walked away, before he pressed his lips together and focused on his dinner. Most of the dinner, he just pushed his food around on his plate, even though Professor Sprout encouraged him to eat and that he looked like he needed a good meal in him. However, the thought of Miranda hating him, all that he had done wrong over the years, and all that he had wanted to do, but avoided because of his condition, it was making him physically sick to his stomach. Not to mention, the snide glares that Severus started shooting him didn't help in the slightest.

Quickly, he started to rethink the whole thing. Perhaps becoming a teacher and taking Dumbledore's offer had been a bad idea. What if something went wrong and he accidentally attacked a student or another professor? He would never be able to live with himself from that point onward. Worse, if he somehow passed on the disease, he would probably never forgive himself. He would almost rather die or be killed than to make some fatal mistake and wake up with someone's blood on his hands. True, he now had Severus and the Wolfsbane potion that would at least let him keep his mind when he transformed, but if he missed it just once, just a single time, the consequences could be disastrous, especially within the castle, so full of innocent students that could be caught at the wrong place at the wrong time.

In front of him, his dinner disappeared, leaving his plate completely clear and spotless, as all the food was replaced by dessert of all kinds. Remus paused before reaching into his pocket to pull out the chocolate bar he had broken up for Harry and his friends back on the train. There was only two squares left for him, but he still broke them apart and popped one into his mouth. He needed the little bit of chocolate to help him feel better. Sure, he had had some on the train after the dementors to bring back some warmth to his bones, but it felt like now he had some invisible dementor floating behind him and even the chocolate that was melting in his mouth wasn't helping.

"Still with the chocolate, I see," McGonagall said beside him, as she properly took a drink from her goblet.

Remus smiled slightly at his old Head of House. He had always reported to her after his prefect patrols, and with her being on of the few that knew his condition back when he was a student, he had always felt quite close to his professor. "Of course. But I have a feeling we're going to need it more than usual this year. After all, our 'guard' is not always the most trustworthy and reliable. I do not doubt that we will have a few students in the Hospital Wing, thanks to them," he answered back.

McGonagall sighed and nodded her head. "Unfortunately, I believe you are right, Remus." She paused, before speaking up again. "By the way, may I ask just what exactly happened between you and Ms. Black a few moments ago?" she questioned.

It felt almost as if Remus had been put back to his fifth, fourth, even second year of school at Hogwarts, just a small child back in trouble for what he had done. McGonagall just had that power over people. "I'm not exactly sure," he lied, rather shameful that he was still resorting to that. However, McGonagall was at least merciful and did not press the subject any further. However, that did not make Remus feel much better. The dessert pressed on for a while, each student getting their fill, until the plates were cleared again. A few more announcements were made, introducing the new professors (Remus simply stood up and bowed, and Dumbledore made a sly, secretive comment about seeing Professor Black in her new classroom), before all the students were released to go up to their dormitories. There was the usual chatter and noise as all the students stood to leave. Remus himself stood from his seat, and as he did, he managed to catch one last glimpse of Harry with his friends, before they left the room.

However, Remus didn't have time to brood about the past or linger on the boy. He was bound and determined to speak with Miranda again. He even successfully dodged Severus, just to get up to the History of Magic classroom in a hurry. He hurried, taking a few back passage ways he had learned with the Marauders, and managed to make it up to her room before a tidal wave of Ravenclaw students could overtake him.

Silently, he slipped inside and over to the door. His courage and determination had carried him this far, but now that he was at the door, he faltered again. The door was open only a small crack, just enough for him to peek in a bit, and he could see Miranda, inside, putting away her things here and there, even setting a small photo frame of Harry and herself at some birthday of Harry's and beside it, an older photo of herself and Sirius. He stood there a moment, transfixed by the photo. The twins had looked nothing alike. In fact, they were practically polar opposites, Sirius with his wild looking eyes, and thick black hair and Miranda, her calm, mature face and wavy blond length of hair. It was hard to believe that they had all come to this point. Remus had only looked in the Daily Prophet once, and ended up cancelling it after he found out that Sirius had escaped, and the man on that last newspaper looked absolutely nothing like the laughing, smiling boy in the picture.

For a long moment, Remus just stood there, studying the picture, before he finally found either the strength or will to knock on the door frame and push the door open. "Hey. You missed the rest of dinner," he said to her, awkwardly.

In all his years, he would have thought the one thing he could break was his bashfulness. He wasn't that little eleven-year-old boy anymore, sitting by himself in the library because he was too frightened to talk to the other students. He was a grown adult. He should be able to conduct himself properly. But somehow, it still managed to sneak back up on him every now and then and rob him of all his words and conviction. He shifted slightly, his scarred face twisting up slightly, as he glanced down at his feet. "Perhaps...perhaps we could go to the kitchens, and you can eat? We could...catch up or just talk. I feel like...like I haven't properly apologized yet, and I thought perhaps this was how I could start."

He glanced back up at her, hoping that his words would break a little bit through her hard exterior. Every single bit of him knew, he didn't deserve it. What kindness he had gotten in life, he didn't deserve. So, expecting more was just being foolish. But at least he could be a fool for a little while longer and hope for a better outcome.


	2. Chapter 2

Miranda looked at Remus, seeing him shift back and forth. She couldn't help seeing the eleven year old she had met in the library. He was all alone, cooped up into a corner, his nose tucked into a book. Even then, she thought he was attractive. She would do almost anything to run her fingers over those scars on his face. She put the shirt she had in her hand, down back into the trunk. She glanced down at the forgotten frame of her and Remus, laughing, Sirius and James in the back trying to be distracting. It seemed to fit their group perfectly. Remus and Miranda were always the mature ones, the well behaved ones, while Sirius and James were the wild children. She remembered her brother always saying, "Miranda, you need to loosen up, and be more wild."

She picked up the photograph, and put the photograph on the mantle, seeing Remus's eyes follow her. She looked at Remus.

"I did miss you," She muttered. "It's hard not having a lot of people around."

There was silence for a moment, then she sat down at her desk, adjusting everything. She glanced up at him, and then reached into her desk drawer, pulling out a candy bar.

"Here, you look absolutely miserable." She saw Remus's face light up as a smirk crossed his face. "You remember when we were kids, how I got you to come out of the corner of the window?" She saw Remus laugh, as he took the candy bar from her.

"You coxed me out like I was a wild animal," Remus replied. Miranda smirked, moving her blonde hair out of her face.

"You were the one who looked like a frighten cat," She countered, then paused thinking of that day. Once she got him out of the corner, she had taken his hand and dragged him to the table where the librarian was yelling at her brother and James. Miranda looked up at Remus.

"Harry is a spit fire," She started, getting up as Remus sat down. She picked up the kettle and filled it with water. She paused as it filled. "The incident on the train is nothing compared to some of the things I have been written about from Dumbledore. 'Harry is a great student, a wise boy beyond his years, but last week he broke into the champers of secrets.' My heart about dropped when I read that." She groaned, turning around, picking up the kettle and putting it on the fire. "He's very good at quidditch, though. He's got James's athletic ability and Sirius's curiosity." She shook her head, getting the kettle and pouring the liquid into the tea cups. She handed one to Remus then sat down, finally relaxing. "Every time he was in trouble, I get a flash back to Sirius and James." She paused as she stirred her tea, staring down at it. "I am not sure how I could have gotten through the past twelve years without Harry. He was a constant distraction, and reminder how much I needed to focus on the now." There was silence again before she felt that familiar hand on her knee.

"You must have heard about Sirius," Remus questioned. Miranda looked up, and nodded.

"Yeah, I know, he escaped, and everyone is worried for Harry's safety, except me," She answered, standing up. "I had spent the past few months looking for him, any type of leads. I have been living off my inheritance, but I know that can not live on it forever." She stood up again, setting the tea cup aside. She looked out the window, rubbing her arms. "I just hope Sirius is all right, and I never want Harry to find out about the accusations. He has always heard good things about Sirius, and I want it to stay that way."

"You shouldn't have lied to the boy."

Miranda turned around, looking at Remus. "I didn't lie to him," She argued, "He knows Sirius was a wild child, but he thinks Sirius is dead. I never corrected him on it, because he might as well be. He would never have met him, or known him. Once someone is in Azkaban, they never get out." She ran her fingers through her hair. She slumped into the chair, trying to grip anything. "What about you, Remus? What have you been up to, besides the potion?"

Remus sighed as he stirred the tea around with his spoon in slow, swirling circles. The tea leaves danced just below the surface, matching the butterflies that had been rising slowly in his stomach. "To tell the truth, I've been trying to become more stable myself. You won't believe how hard it is to find just one job," he said with a small laugh. He tapped off the tea from his spoon and set it off to the side, before taking a drink of his tea. "I actually had to return home for a while, after my father died. He probably would have died again if he knew that I had come back. I had to sell a few of his things, but it's going a lot better now than it was before. I'm here after all."

Even despite all the hardships he had been seeing over the years separated and isolated, somehow Remus had held onto his gentleness and kind eyes. And of course, he played down his own situations. The truth was, returning home was the hardest thing he had done in a long time. He had to sort through what was left of his parents belongings, something his father would have hated. His mother had been the one to take care of him the most, but even around full moon, she would shy away. The home definitely was not full of completely happy memories. However, he had done it, gone through the house, and sold off most of the things to get by. He was lucky that he was able to do as well as he had been doing over the months, even managing to lock himself up in the basement during his transformations, but no matter how much he tried to downplay and minimize the situation, it showed slightly in his face. More scars had appeared and his hair had grayed slightly more. Still, he never would admit out loud how much it really had affected him.

However, instead of speaking more about himself, he focused on a different topic; Sirius. He took another sip of his tea before setting it off to the side. "But I have to ask...do you really think it's wise to go and look for Sirius? Especially without telling Harry that he is really alive?" He lowered his voice slightly to just above a whisper as it dripped with concern. "Miranda, you know, if someone...if the ministry were to find out you were looking for your brother, they could use that against you to bring you down too. They could take away Harry and throw you in Azkaban too, and I know for a fact that neither you nor I want that to happen."

Miranda eyed him, before letting out a breath. "I just want my brother back," She muttered. She stared at her cup. "You don't understand how lonely I have been the past few years. A lot of people shun me because I am Sirius's sister. If I didn't have Molly, I would have gone mad as a hatter, so to speak. I just keep thinking if I can get my brother back, then...then maybe everything was going to be okay."

Remus let out a breath, sagging slightly. He wanted to tell her that things could never go back to the way they were, that the chances of them being okay were slim to none. After all, Sirius was a convicted criminal. Getting him back would not change that, even if he remained hidden. Not to mention, there were all the charges against, the betrayal...There was a long pause, before Remus studied her face again, choosing his words very carefully. "I know that we have had this discussion before, and I understand that you believe he is innocent, but I have to ask you...what exactly makes him innocent?"

"Sirius would never do that to James and Lily!" Miranda yelled. "Sirius may have caused trouble, and he may like the adventure, but he would never betray the ones he loved. He loved James, He loved Lily, and he loved Harry like he was his own son. He loved all of us! You didn't know Sirius like I did. You weren't there the nights dad went into a drunken rage, and went out to beat me. Sirius would rather have a broken arm from protecting me, than watch me cry. Sirius cares far too much about the people that matter in his life to ever betray them, no amount of money would do that. He'd never do that. If you think otherwise, you can't really be his friend." She touched her cheek, not realizing tears had been falling down her face.

Remus immediately backed down, sitting back in his chair slightly as tears started to come down her cheeks. Guilt automatically started pooling up in his chest, as he reached into his pocket and drew out a handkerchief, passing it over to her. "I'm sorry...I just...I just don't know what to believe anymore. He was laughing when they took him away from...from that street. And those posters, they had them everywhere in the Leaky Cauldron. He doesn't even look like himself anymore. And if Sirius didn't go to the Dark Lord all those years ago...who did? Who could just betray James and Lily like that?" he asked, now more for himself than anyone else. His mind wandered back to that night that he found out. By the time he arrived at the ruins of what was once the Potter house, several people had already come and gone. Harry had been removed, and Sirius was missing. It was early morning, just before six and dawn on the horizon, but never before had Remus felt more like he never wanted to see the sun again. At the time, he wasn't thinking that Sirius was the one who did it. But since then, he had had plenty of time to think it over.

The pieces never fit for some reason. Sirius had loved Harry, everything about him. Sirius had volunteered to be the Secret Keeper for James and Lily. He had been the best man at James and Lily's wedding. None of it had made sense. He knew Sirius...or at least, he thought he did. "I honestly want to believe that Sirius would never do this. I've tried so hard to believe it, and I want things to go back to normal as well, the way they used to be. I'm just...not sure if they will. Even if we did get Sirius, the old Sirius back."

Miranda glanced at Remus feeling her heart break again. She had this argument with every person about who it really was. "What about Peter Pettigrew?" She asked demanding. "No one can find him, and there is no proof that he isn't dead. Plus we all know that he was an angro like Sirius and James. Who knows what he could turn into."

"He's an animagus, and he could turn into a rat, but do you really think that he would betray them? Besides...why would Lily and James make Peter their Secret Keeper? No offense to Peter's memory, but...he wasn't exactly the most courageous man out there. It just doesn't make sense that they would make him their Secret Keeper," Remus said, trying to riddle it out.

She shook her head, still trying to put it in Remus's head that it could have been anyone that did it to James and Lily. In reality, it just did not matter anymore. Her brother had been locked away and had probably went mad. She would never have her brother back again, and she knew it. Everyone, including, Remus would forever blame him for the death of their friends. She got up, not wanting to focus on it anymore.

"Why are we always here?" She muttered. "No matter what time of the year it is, we are always here. You are bull headed on Sirius being guilty, and I'm in tears about his how unguilty he is." She started pacing back and forth. She wanted nothing more to take him into her arms, and hug him. She was all too familiar of what Remus's life was when he was a child. She had visited frequently during the summer, and his father was always offal horrid towards her. His mom offered her milk and cookies, even a hug if she had a horrible night at home. She was the mother she never would have. It amazed her that she wasn't a horrible mother to Harry. So many times, did she rely on Remus to help her through something at home, or when she got fed up taking care of her brother. She had been there the night he first...

Miranda stopped, looking out the window, lightly touching her left arm. She had been there the night he had turned into a werewolf. He had attacked her, almost killed her, if Sirius hadn't attacked him into unconsciousness while in dog form. Ever since then, he had been different with her. She put her hands on the shelf and leaned forward. How she loved Remus with all her heart, and nothing would stop her from doing so. She glanced at him, seeing that kindness she loved so much. She walked over, sitting down again, and put her hand into his.

"I wish you had told me about your father dying," She whispered. "I could have been there for you, helping you sell his things. You needed support, actual support." Remus shook his head simply, picking up his tea and taking another sip.

"Don't worry about it. It wasn't even that eventful," he answered her over the rim of the cup. "We had not talked for years, since my mother died, so it wasn't terribly heartbreaking. Besides, spending your days going through old books and telescopes would have been a waste. You had Harry to look out for, not me and some house full of junk."

She stared at him, thinking how wrong he was. To have spent those hours alone with him, as the adult they had become, she would have on cloud nine. She sighed, running her fingers through her hair. "You don't know that," She replied softly. "You know, I've always loved rifling people's stuff. It would have been fun. We could get into dust fights like we did when we were kids. Plus Harry would have marveled at the junk, probably asking for some of it. It would have been nice to feel like...to feel like...to feel like a family like we did when I first took over as guardian. No matter how old you are Remus, I will always look out for you and be there for you, seven foot tall mutt or the sweet professor, I see in front of me."

She gave him a weak smile before getting up, and kissing his cheek, right where one of the scars had ended. She chose that place particularly. She had to make him believe that she didn't mind that he was a werewolf. She would take care of him and be there for him, if he was a muggle. She let out a breath, as she pushed back.

"I really missed you, Remus," She repeated. "You have no idea how much I have." You probably never will, she thought solemnly. She gave him another chocolate bar from her desk and opened the door to where her bed was. "It's late, and classes start early tomorrow. we don't want to be late for our first day of class." She saw him rise, and she let out a breath. "Remus," She said stopping him. "I...I never was angry at you about the attack. I never will be, because I know when you are like that...it's the beast, not you. You would rather die then ever lay a hand on me...like your dad and my dad use to."

Her hand holding his rough calloused, scarred one, her gentle green eyes holding his own and seeing past his words, her speaking about them as they were back when they were their meshed together, half broken, and barely surviving family. All of this was added together into a poisonous combination, that stabbed right to his very heart and twisted some invisible blade. However, it wasn't enough to kill him completely, just enough to make him bleed for the time being. Though, it didn't stop there. Her words quickly added another stab, followed by the gentle, sweet kiss that she placed on his cheek. That kiss relight the fires that had started to burn years and years before, long before any of them were fighting for their lives and their only worries were school work and house points. He had been convinced that he had burned everything, inside and out from the fires she lit, but apparently, something more was catching, some inch of space that hadn't yet been burned on his heart, and it had started the wild flames roaring once again.

He had just thought that his heart could not take much more, when she struck the death blow. That night. That horrible, twisted in the darkness, unremembered night. He had seen the effects of what he had done first hand the next morning, felt the effects of what James and Sirius had had to do, and still, to the very day, hour, minute, felt the twisting of guilt so deep that it tore a dark, ugly gash right across his soul. She may not have blamed him, but he certainly blamed himself and had held onto it for a long, long time. He just hoped that he wouldn't have to see that one scar he had left on her. It would hurt too much. Still, he had been crushed completely in just those few words and actions of her.

Thoroughly defeated, he still managed to pull on a small sincere smile, for her sake, and could feel a bit of blush blossoming on his cheek under his scars where she had kissed him. "I know," he answered back. "Thank you, Miranda. Still, I wish I could promise that nothing like that would ever happen again." He reached over and rubbed her left arm slightly, his fingers careful as they grazed past the scar underneath her robes. "I guess I have a lot more to apologize for than just disappearing," he muttered, before his hand dropped away. He looked at her once more, this time inflecting the pain on himself, as he took her face like he used to.

She had meant the world to him. She had been his very first friend at Hogwarts, despite all the people who avoided him and how much he tried to be cut off. She had pushed through, and year after year, she had been there, even after Sirius and James found out, after she herself had found out and even seen him as a werewolf. Even now, after all the unforgivable things he had done to her, disappearing on her, abandoning her with Harry, leaving that horrible scar on her arm, she was still trying to be there for him and he didn't deserve a single bit of it. He gave her one last smile, before nodding his head to her. "Good night, Miranda. Good luck with your class," he said to her. "You'll do brilliantly."

And with that, he left. From there, he walked back up to the Defense Against the Dark Arts room and locked himself in his office. All of his things, his trunk, his bags, his briefcase that he had abandoned on the desk in a hurry he left completely untouched and just stripped off his robes and sat down on the small bed.

'No. How many times have I told you? No. Absolutely not. This is part of the reason you left to begin with,' he argued with himself.

'But it is different now. You have the potion, you can take better care of yourself.'

'With or without the potion, accidents still happen. You know what happened last time.'

'That was a mistake, an isolated incident. You've been careful. You deserve this.'

'Careful, yes, but that one time you forget could bring the whole thing crashing down. And besides, you don't deserve this. After all, it was you who left her, remember?'

'But you did it partly because you loved her. You still love her. You know you do. And fighting it is just pointless.'

'No, it is not pointless. You cannot be weak and selfish at a time like this.'

'You love her. You'll have to give in. Eventually.'

For the better part of the night, Remus continued to battle with himself. Between pacing, putting a few things here and there away, planning out his lessons, and feeling the restlessness of a night after the full moon, sleep just didn't come to him that night, leaving him even more exhausted. All he was running on was a small nap on a train, and even that had been interrupted by his need to hear Harry speak with his friends, half way pretending to be asleep. Still, he managed to make it down to breakfast early, avoiding most everyone except a few early birds, one of whom included Professor McGonagall.

"Settled in yet, Remus?" she asked over her bagel.

"Not quite. Hopefully by tonight I will be. Fortunately, Professor Dumbledore was gentle with me and my schedule and gave me Mondays off. The rest of the week, I don't expect will be so light," he answered her.

"Don't be worried. You'll do just fine. I was nervous for my first class as well, but here I am now, all these years later," she said, with a small, yet tight smile.

"Well, I can only hope that I teach as well as you," he answered her, getting a slight blush out of her. At least all of his marauder charms hadn't disappeared yet. Before many more people could arrive though, Remus left, and quickly the week turned into a sort of game of cat and mouse, which included Remus trying to spend as much time away or at least out of sight of Miranda. He wasn't consciously trying to do it, but by the third day, as he paused at the end of a hallway and then retreated back the moment he realized he was nearing the History of Magic classroom, he couldn't deny the fact any longer. However, the one person he hadn't been avoiding was Harry. He had yet to actually talk to the boy, but the moment he spotted him, he would follow him with his eyes, only from the corner or just in passing glances, but he was very aware of when the boy was near him. All the time he had missed in his life, from just being a toddler to now. What had the boy been up to? Miranda had mentioned the Chamber of Secrets, but nothing else. He knew of the legend, but had Harry really been in the Chamber?

Miranda spent a good portion of the week, teaching her classes, but trying to find Remus. She had not seen him since that night and began to wonder if she hadn't said something wrong. She stood in her office, putting all the homework in a file. "Who are you kidding, Miranda, you've always said something wrong," She muttered.

"Talking to yourself again?" a voice asked causing her to jump. She looked up, putting her hand on her chest. Her godson, Harry stood in the doorway, holding two golden plates, empty of course, but she knew what they were for.

"You know better than to sneak up on me," Miranda said, letting him in. She heard him scuff as he walked in and sat down at the desk. She closed the door behind him, and sat down on the opposite sides.

"How are classes going? Are you learning anything fun?" She looked down at the plates as food appeared instantly in front of them. She had her grilled chicken salad she was craving, and Harry had a plate full of meats and mashed potatoes, that she was sure he would scarf down in only seconds.

"Everything is okay," Harry answered. "The new dark arts professor that keeps following me with his eyes. It's unsettling." Miranda stopped and looked up at Harry, giving a rough sigh.

"Harry, that's Uncle Lupin, remember?" She reminded. She saw the confused look on his face and frowned. _Had it really been that long since Remus had been home for Christmas?_ She thought sadly. She put down her fork, and sat forward a little bit. "Remus Lupin was a friend of your parents, a great friend in fact, he was a wonderful friend to me. He probably just doing what he promised me he would do. He is looking out for you, and if I know him well enough, he's probably trying to push back this internal angst he has and trying to talk to you."

She sighed, realizing that was the problem. He was isolating himself from her because of his guilt. She began to wonder if she would have to fish him out with candy bars again. Did she have to kiss him for him to understand that she was there? She looked at her godson and smiled. She reached into her drawer, and got out a chocolate bar. "Here, if you want to talk to him, which I know you do, I see the wheels turning in your eyes, use this," She said. Harry looked at the bar, raising his eyebrows.

"Chocolate?" Harry questioned. "How is chocolate going to get him to talk to me?"

Miranda sat back, thinking fondly on that small boy. His eyes were so big when she talked to him, but then offered him chocolate, and she seemed to pull him out. "He loves chocolate," She answered, distantly. She snapped herself out of the trance, and looked at Harry, sitting forward. She saw her godson staring at her, with a strange expression on his face. "What? Do I have something on my face?" She touched her face, as he shook his head.

"Nothing, it's just, I never seen that look you just had," Harry answered confused. "When you talk about Professor Lupin, you...I don't know, it's just weird. Your whole face and demeanor changes. You look like you may be happy." She watched as Harry finished off the plate and handed to her, of course, to wash. She took it, understanding, it was still her 'motherly' duties.

"If he could stick around and make you happy, it would be nice." Miranda frowned, getting up as Harry headed for the door. She walked over to him, stopped him, even hugged him.

"Yeah, but I have a godson that makes me pretty happy all ready," Miranda whispered, hugging him tighter. "I couldn't ask for anything more then that." She heard a scuff as Harry pulled away.

"That's your problem, you don't ask for anything," Harry argued. "I have my own life, Miranda, and I won't be at the cottage much longer. You will be alone, what will you do then?"

Miranda stared at him for a second, knowing full well he was telling the truth. She sighed, pushing his bangs out of his face. "I will be grateful for the opportunity to raise you," She replied softly. "Don't worry about me, Harry. I'm a black, we are notorious for being good alone." Harry shook his head, his hand on the doorknob.

"Yeah, but you aren't," He responded, before leaving the office.

She stood there stunned for a moment, before groaning. She shut the door, and collapsed to her chair. Harry was right, of course. She wasn't good alone. She would never she had a bad life. She never blamed Harry for her loneliness. She knew she would raise him again in a second. In the end it didn't matter. She wasn't lonely for a companion. She wasn't desperate to find love. No, she was all ready in love...with her childhood friend. She loved Remus, and she would not spend her life with anyone else except him. She just knew it meant a life alone. She was okay with it. She stood up, looking at the clock. Remus wouldn't be having a class right now and she was done for the day. She walked out of the room, her wand in hand, and magically, locked her door. She moved through the crowds of children, the halls filled with chatter and laughter. They all looked so happy, and it hadn't been too long ago that she was one of them. Happy, surrounded by people, and was with that special person.

She stopped when she reached the court yard, staring at the bench, a young couple were sitting on kissing. She smirked leaning against the railing. Her and Remus had kissed once. They had broken into one of the teacher's rooms to get alcohol, and during the joyous time, Sirius dared them to kiss. It wasn't long before Lily and James had joined in. So, right there, in front of all their friends, they kissed, a peck at first but it had gotten deeper than that.

In fact, it was the same year she'd lost her virginity. She sighed, running her fingers through her hair again. She pushed up, and headed towards the other side of the building. That was one thing that she regretted most. In order for anything to ever happen for them, alcohol had to be involved. There was so much alcohol involved that Remus didn't even remember having sex with her. He had woken up next morning, she had brought him coffee, and he asked what happened the night before. Once she was certain he didn't remember any of it, she kept the secret to herself. Well not entirely to herself, Sirius had wanted to murder Remus for taking his sister's virginity, but she promised to beat him if he had. She sighed, pressing her hand to her stomach as she walked up the stairs.

It had also been the year she had lost the child that was a product of that night. Perhaps, it was a far too eventful year for her liking. She hadn't even known she was pregnant, until her father had punched her into the stomach violently. She had a result of miscarriage, and only she and Sirius knew of it. She relied on Sirius so much as a child and teenager that without him around, she felt lonely. He had her darkest secrets. She only trusted him with them.

She paused looking at the door, knowing the classroom too well. She walked in, stunned to see all the desks had been moved and a wardrobe in the middle. She touched the side, and then went upstairs to his office. She saw him sweating, almost shaking as he took the potion. She frowned, rushing over to him, grabbing his shoulders. He looked so ill. It was frightening. She forced him to sit down, putting her hands on either side of his face. She saw his eyes distant, and knew he was fighting the other battle. She looked at the sky confused, since the full moon wasn't until next month. She looked back at him; finally see life coming back into his eyes. She let out a breath of relief, as she touched his neck.

"Don't scare me like that," She scolded. "I thought you were have a bad reaction to the potion." She rubbed his cheeks then his neck, then his shoulders, each until she felt relief. She was relieved. She leaned over and pressed her lips hard to his forehead, then hugged him. She did not want to lose to him, ever.


	3. Chapter 3

Remus had thought while he was boarding the train, that perhaps coming back to Hogwarts would do his health some good. After all, he would be able to get food in his system, stay active during the day, and a good night's sleep. However, the last one had been eluding him completely. During the nights, his mind roared with thoughts and his body shook from the after effects of the transformation. It was taking much longer to heal from the last one, an unusual amount of time, and by the fourth day, the tremors in his hands were becoming a little too noticeable for his liking. He just hoped that the students would not pay attention to it too much. The last thing he needed was to be found out now. Somehow, his secret had managed to stay hidden, and perhaps, he could make it through at least this year while keeping it quiet.

However, none of it helped him much in sleeping. Not to mention, it was the day before his class with Harry. Remus even found the wobbling wardrobe in the professor's lounge up to his classroom, just specially for the class. But now, he paced his room back and forth, absolutely determined to finally sleep. He needed it. Finally, unable to take it, he turned to his bag. He had thought that he would push through this and get himself together, but enough was enough. He dug through one of his half unpacked bags, and then another, before finally digging out a bottle of potion. He quickly uncorked it and threw his head back, drinking the Pepper-up Potion. At the same time, the door to his office flew open, startling Remus a bit. He quickly lowered the potion, hiding it behind his back, until he recognized Miranda as she grabbed his shoulders to make him face her. He relaxed slightly, even though he had somewhat been avoiding her. The potion started to work next, easing his fatigue slightly as she sat him down. Apparently, the potions effects became visible, because Miranda sagged in relief as well.

For a moment, she pressed her lips to his forehead and again, his heart fluttered up, before he tried to push it back down. Suddenly, he was pulled forward into a hug, and this time, he couldn't push his heart back down. Slowly, he wrapped his arms around her in return, hugging her slightly, before letting out a breath.

"No, it wasn't the potion. Full moon was last week," he explained her soothingly, as he rubbed her back gently. He finally separated from her, before grabbing his wand and summoning another chair for Miranda. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you so bad. What were you doing at the door anyway?" he asked her curiously.

Miranda opened her mouth then shut it again, sighing. "Actually, I am not sure," She answered. "I just felt like I had to come see you." She looked at him guiltily. "I'm sorry, I just hope I am not interrupting anything serious. Harry was just talking about you and...I...I just wanted to see you."

"Oh," was all he answered back. He paused for a moment, before pushing up from his chair again. "Oh, would you like some tea? Coffee? I'm sure I have some hot chocolate around here too, if you want that," he added. He moved across the room, trying to fill up the silence. Why was he suddenly feeling so anxious around her? That question was quickly answered by the feeling of his heart pounding away in his heart. He picked up the kettle, tapping it with his want to fill it with water, and then to make it steam away. Somehow, he managed to conjure up a couple of chipped mugs and set about pouring out some hot water into the cups.

Miranda watched him a little confused. "Are you okay?" She asked getting out her wand, tapping it on the cup, creating coffee. "You seemed so out of it since you got hom...here...since you got here."

He looked over at her for a moment, before letting out a breath and turning his hot water to hot chocolate. He sat back down and ran the cup between his hands. "I suppose...I'm just a little nervous. It's been a while since I've...been here," he said, changing his mind last minute about the words he was going to say. He looked down at his cup, before glancing back up at her with a small smile. Honestly, there was so much he wanted to say to her, but for some reason, none of it would come, except one thing. "You know...I have missed you as well. I know I didn't say it before, but I honestly did miss you." Again, he fell silent, sipping on his hot chocolate for a moment, before a small smile crept onto his face.

"Do you remember, back in sixth year, when Sirius bet me that I couldn't survive a month without chocolate? He said I would shrivel up and die. I wanted to prove him wrong so badly. But you always ended up sneaking me chocolate when we went on our patrol in the hallways, and Sirius couldn't figure it out, how I was getting on without it," he said, laughing under his breath, trying to feel a little better and make her feel better in the process.

Miranda laughed as she took a sip of her coffee.

"You've always loved chocolate," She agreed. "I never have been one to see you tortured, especially that year." She stopped as her smile slipped, looking down at her coffee. "Though sixth year was a rough one." She stirred the coffee with her spoon, and looked up at Remus, seeing his confusion. "It was the year I confessed I was in love you. Remember, it was at the Yule Ball. You were my escort to the ball. I had it all figured out. We would have an extremely romantic night, dance wondrously, and then when we decided to take a walk outsides, I would confess my love to you, and then you would do the same. We have this romantic embrace."

She gave a sad laughing, shaking her head. "What a childish thing to dream." She looked up at him and shrugged.

Remus' own smile slowly slipped away from his face. Most of those things had happened. They had had a romantic night, danced wondrously, and even taken the walk outside. But it came to him confessing his love, he just couldn't do it. His breathe caught in his chest as he remembered suddenly why he had been avoiding her. "It wasn't childish," he muttered, shaking his head. "It was right. You...you deserve someone to love, and love you in return unconditionally. Hell, the only way to tell that you and Sirius were twins was your good looks and charm. You could probably have just about anyone."

Miranda sighed, shaking her head. He still didn't understand, but she hated seeing the light go from his eyes. Why was she so focused on the bad stuff?

_Because you had him and he slipped through your fingers_, She thought angrily with herself. She could have anyone she wanted, but she wanted that boy she met in the library she coxed out of the window that grown up to the wonderful man that stood in front of her. He had his issues, she knew, but it all seemed trivial. She swallowed, getting up, pushing her hand off her shoulders.

"It's true, I have had many offers for dates while we were here, but there was one hitch to that problem," She responded. "I wanted you." She knew she was making him feel worse, and she cursed herself. She put her cup down, looking at him, shaking her head. "I'm sorry, Remus. This isn't fair to you. In truth, I never got past it all. Deep in my heart, I still care about you. I always will. Before you say anything, I all ready know your response. I all ready accept that it will never be reciprocated, and I value you as my friend. I guess, I never really...I never really have healed since James and Lily died. It's just been one open wound that has been pulsing and seeping. So I apologize for all of this."

Half of his insides jumped straight up, lifting his spirits higher than they had been in years, while the other half acted like an anchor, pulling it all back down in a sickening free fall. It was silent for a long moment, before Remus set his own cup aside, and sat forward a little bit. It took him several times, opening his mouth and closing it, before he found his words again. "You...you still love me?" he asked, the shock quite evident in his voice. "But...why?"

Miranda stared at him, confused by his question. She had never heard anyone ever question why they loved someone. No, she took that back. She had heard women ask in desperation to lift their all ready low self esteem, or any insecurity they had. She had never heard a man ask so bluntly why. She wasn't sure what to say. In fact, she was surprised that he seemed astonished that she still did. She thought she had made it obvious that she still loved him. Perhaps, she would need to show it more, but she just wasn't sure how much more without making him uncomfortable.

"Because..." She paused, thinking. "I don't know where to begin. It's all the odd ball things. I love that you love your chocolate so much. I love that you are still the sweet boy I met in the library, but I also loving staring at the brave man before me. I love the man that knows he has a curse, but sometimes so blinded, that no matter how horrible that curse is, I still love him, even drooling and murderous. I...I love the feeling I get around you. I love that you make me smile. Do I need to go on, or are you getting the picture?"

He stared at her amazed, before the blush set in under his scars and he let out a small, bashful laugh. "No, no. That's fine," he said waving his hand as he sat back in his chair. "No, I just...I suppose I just don't see all that in myself. And how can you still love me when I'm...transformed?"

She sat down in the chair, keeping her eyes on him. Her eyes traced the lines of the scar. He had such a struggle with his transforming; she had witnessed it on endless accounts, despite the mark on her arm. She sat forward, shaking her head, trying to think of the reason for her love, even during transformed. She tried to put into the words.

After she was attacked, the wolf seemed to sense the wounds, and was always calm towards her. Out of all the people in the group, his wolf form responded most to her. He wasn't angry, or as violent. He was...calm was not the word, but she wasn't sure what to call it. He just was never harsh towards her after he first attacked her, and she began to think it was due to fact, he kept telling her to stay away from him.

"Because...let's just say, the wolf likes me," She answered simply.

Remus paused, and looked at her confused. "L-likes you? What do you mean, the wolf LIKES you? The wolf didn't like you when he...I did that to your arm."

Miranda laughed at him fumbling. She forgot that he didn't remember when he was in wolf form. Oh, if he could see the wolf around her, he would be singing a different tune. She got up, using her wand, and refilled her cup. She left him with his confusion for a moment.

"It did that because you were angry at me for trying to help," Miranda correctly, adding sugar to her coffee. "No one told you that the wolf was licking my arm after it hurt it. You are extremely violent when it is anyone else, but the moment, you sense me...as weird and screwed up as it seems, the wolf only responds to me. It's almost like, with me around, you are so close to your humanity."

Remus leaned in a little closer, interest and intrigue taking him over. "Really? You mean, I...he really did that? He went to you and...and licked you? Licked the wounds?" he asked. This was definitely the first he had heard of this. "Wait, how many times have you been around me during a full moon?"

"More then you are aware of," She answered, then sighed getting up. "I think lack of sleep is finally catching up with you. I will leave you to rest."

She kissed his cheek, and said goodnight, before slinking out of the office. The entire way back to her office, she felt like she accomplished nothing. She had yet to tell him about the baby, their sexual intercourse, and everything else. Dumbledore had told her that if she stuck around more that she could help Remus reached his human side, trying to contact them together.

She opened the door, and stopped, her heart doing a flip. There, sitting in her chair, was her brother, Sirius. He looked worse for wear, but it was her brother. She walked in, shutting the door, before her heart raced, her mouth slightly agape.

"Sirius," She breathed, before she ran towards him, hugging him tightly. He didn't have to say anything. She was just so happy to have him there. The person she leaned on the most, the person she cared about more then life, beyond Harry and Remus. "How...How did you..."

"Dog form," He answered, simply, before standing back, eyeing her with a smirk. "You are more beautiful then when you were twenty-two. How is everyone?"

Miranda couldn't wipe the smile from her face. Sirius was there, Remus was there, and she was there. It felt like the old group was partially there. The spots that James and Lily fit in were vacant, but to her, it felt nice knowing both men were not too far. She just hugged him again, as she began to cry. She cried for the years they wasted apart, the years Sirius missed with Harry, and the pain she had been holding in for twelve years.

She heard shushing as she felt her brother pick her up, and put her in the chair, pulling her hands from her face. She looked at him, her eyes filled with pain, and misery. She watched him shake his head, before handing her the box of tissues.

"How long has that been held in?" Sirius asked. "That is some serious crying, and you know, I hate that. It makes me want to go beat some block's ass."

She wiped her face, shaking her head, blowing her nose into the tissue, feeling as the tears continued to pour out of her eyes. She felt those familiar hands rubbing her arms, and she broke even worse. She never realized how much she was holding in, until she spent that first hour crying, and then finally broke into soft sobs that trickled down to just shaky breathing.

"Good God, Miranda, what the hell have you been doing?" Sirius asked, looking at her disapprovingly. He picked up the photo of her and Harry. He seemed to stare at it for a moment, and then put it down quickly, like it was fire. "Let's try this again, how long have you held that in? Try not to cry for another hour again, all right? I can only stand so much of your blubbering."

"Far too long," She answered, unevenly. "It's hard to break down like this when I had a child to look after."

"Harry, I see that," Sirius responded, nodding towards the photo. "You must of done good with him. He looked happy and fit in the photograph. Who would have thought the girl who couldn't even keep her pet gerbils alive, could take care of a child?"

Miranda laughed through her tears, shaking her head, feeling her body drained and exhausted. She got up, reaching into her trunk, pulling out a large dog bed. She put it down by her desk, and offered it to him. "This is all I have for you right now, Sirius. No one comes in here except Harry. So if you want to stay, I will let you cover."

He took it into account, and shrugged, then eyed the couch she had tucked around in the corner. He smirked, walking over, pulling off the cushions, and pulling out the hideabed. He looked over at her, as she watched him with a guilty look. She had planned for all the possibilities, and she was glad that she did. She stood up, kissing her brother's cheek.

"Use my bathroom, to shower, and freshen up," She suggested. "I am going to bed. After dealing with Harry criticizing that I have no one, then dealing with Remus, I am drained." She saw her brother's eyes light up, as she opened the door to her room. "He's the new dark arts professor. He's still shy as ever. I hope that never changes. Goodnight."

The following morning, she went to breakfast, looking far worse then she would have liked. Her brother had kept her up half the night asking questions of Harry, her, and Remus, despite telling him she needed sleep. Now, she was exhausted, her eyes red, raw, and puffy. She felt like someone had kicked her in the head, and sucked the life out of her. She walked to the table, sitting down next to Remus, who looked surprisingly refreshed. That eased her a little bit, but not by much.

"Good morning, Remus," She muttered. "I hope you finally slept well."

Of course. Leave it to Miranda. He gains a million questions, and she only answers two of them, IF even that. She did it all the time to him when they were younger. He would find out something interesting, something he wanted to know so much more about, and she would know all the answers. But rather than answer him or help him find the answers, she would just leave him clueless, wanting more. Perhaps that was part of the reason he even came out of his corner to begin with. He had been so content there, off by himself, then she showed up, offered him chocolate, the first sign of kindness since he had arrived at the school, and left him with many more questions than anything else, making him follow her so he can find more, ask more.

Still, as Remus sat back in his chair, rubbing his cheek where she had kissed him, he went over it all in his head. She had been there, more than just that once when he hurt her. But for some reason, he had not hurt her. In fact, from what she said, he had been gentle with her, licked her wound, been almost...human with her. It made no sense, in fact, it went against every rule of werewolves. They were cruel, didn't remember anyone, attacked only. How then could this have happened? He shook his head slightly, his hand falling away from his cheek as he stared at the floor. It was only a little while later that finally, sleep started to over take him. He only just made it to his bed, before he fell asleep, not even able to pull his robes off or the cover on him.

Through the night though, he dreamed. It was almost as if walking down memory lane once more with a mixed up mess of memories all molded into one. One moment he was walking the halls with Miranda on patrol as a prefect, the next they were sipping tea together in one of their offices. Another flash of memories and they were in Honey duke's, picking out the best candies for later on and then eventually, sitting together in the library, while Sirius and James screwed around with Peter at the next table over. Miranda and himself just read and ate their chocolates. He kept expecting some bad memory to come in, interrupt the dream and turn it into a nightmare, but instead, it did just the opposite. It turned into that that fateful Yule Ball with a few differences. They were no longer sixteen, but their current ages. Miranda, of course, was absolutely beautiful, but himself, all of his scars had somehow vanished, leaving his skin clean and clear. He actually looked and felt well too. A smile came much easier to his face as they walked into the same room from all those years ago, danced like they had danced then, and finally went on their walk through the snow-encrusted hedges on that winter's night. It was an almost perfect night, only completed and made whole when Miranda said her words, professing her love for him, and he didn't have to hesitate to answer back with his own love.

Unfortunately, it had all been nothing more than a dream, something his mind had created to ease his own pain. Still, even as he began to wake up, he kept his eyes shut, trying to hold on to that last few brief moments of real happiness. The sun came up. Its light stretched across his room, and eventually struck his eyes, waking him up. He sat up, and sighed, looking across his room. It looked so bare and empty, with so few things to put up. But still, as he got up out of bed, he walked over to one of his bags, and dug through it, grabbing the one thing he wanted. Out of the box, he pulled a small, black picture frame with a single moving picture inside. The picture itself was very simple, but it was the one thing he cherished the most. It was a picture of all of them, their group, at James and Lily's wedding. James and Lily of course beamed in the picture, stealing kisses and sharing their own intimate moment. Sirius was of course celebrating right in the middle of everything, waving his arms, and whistling every time James and Lily kissed, and there, off to the side was Miranda and himself, occasionally moving close and Miranda catching Remus off guard by pecking his cheek every now and then.

He admired the photo for a moment, smiling at the one fond memory, before he set it out on his desk. He set out a few more things, finally getting most of his things unpacked, including his father's prized record player, before he left the room and headed down for breakfast. While he was feeling refreshed and a little more lighthearted, it seemed Miranda was just the opposite.

"Actually, I did," he answered her with a small smile. He plucked out a piece of toast, and began to butter it, before glancing over at her again. "You didn't though. What's wrong? I...I didn't make things worse, did I?" Had he said the wrong thing? He certainly had done the wrong thing, so it only made sense that he would say it too. He just hoped that she would feel a little better by the day's out. He certainly would not avoid her tonight, if it meant that he could get another dream like that one again.

Miranda just shook her head at him. She couldn't tell him about Sirius. He just wouldn't understand her motivation behind it. Hell, she knew he still believed Sirius was guilty. There would be no reason to help put her brother back behind bars. In fact, she wasn't even sure the excuse to give Remus. She hadn't had the energy yet to figure one out.

"I was dreaming about Sirius and that night," Miranda lied. "It was a very hard night. I finally broke down last night. I hadn't realized how much I had been locking up since that faithful night."

She looked up as Severus walked past her, eyeing her with questions. She frowned unsure why he was looking at her in such a quizzical manner. Severus had always been the outcast in school, and nothing changed in adulthood. Like her brother, a lot of people thought of him as a guilty for betraying the order. The only difference was he was able to get off the charges, and Sirius couldn't. She was just glad he was here and not in Azkaban anymore.

"When did you get a dog, Miranda?" Severus asked, coldly but made it sound like a friendly question. She knew differently as she straightened, more alert then she was a moment ago. She put down her fork, swallowing her food.

"Recently," She answered. "Unlike some people, I prefer to have a companion when I travel. I certainly could not leave him at the cottage unattended now could I?"

Her mind racing with questions. Was Severus snooping in her office? If he was, who else was suspecting her of hiding her brother? She would have to hide him in the shrieking shack if she wasn't careful.

"Perhaps you should put him on the leash," Severus said a little more agitated. "You cannot let the mutt run around on school grounds."

She stared at him for a moment, then getting up, rushing out of the Great Hall, back to her office, seeing the door was empty, and Sirius was no where to be found. The couch had been set back to normal, the dog bed sitting neatly next to her desk. She groaned.

"Sirius," She muttered angrily. "That man is going to get himself caught...again."

She turned, shutting the door tightly, making sure the door was locked extremely tightly, then rushed out towards the open grounds, all the rolling hills. She looked for any sight of Sirius or his dead dog ass.

"Miranda!" She heard behind her. She turned around, and saw Harry rushing over to her, with a piece of paper. "You didn't sign the permission slip for me to go to Hogsmeade." She sighed taking the pen from his hand, and hand him lean over, signing it.

"I all ready had told McGonagall that you could go," She muttered as she sloppily put her signature. "There you go, Harry, enjoy your new found freedom. I sure did." She watched him run off, before stopping him. "Oh! Harry, for the record, we do have a dog if Professor Snape asks, and here is some money for your exploration."

Harry looked at her confused, before nodding in confusion. She sighed, looking back at the field, knowing her brother could be anywhere. She searched the field then ran down the hill towards the forest, when she heard something, or more importantly, someone barking. She ran towards the sound, following it along the edge of the forest, before reaching the end, where the dog was tied up to a tree.

She groaned, retrieving her wand, slicing the rope away. She picked the dog from the back of the neck, staring him in the eyes, hearing him growl.

"You. Can't. Do. This." She said hotly. "You are a wanted man, Sirius. You cannot just strut around acting if you are a dog. You are going to get you, me, and Harry thrown in Azkaban with you."

With a sudden proof, Sirius was human, knocking her over. She groaned, looking up at him, and suddenly felt a strange fear. It was something she never felt around her brother. There was a strange madness behind his eyes. Something that she only saw around their father. She stood up shakily, trying to keep herself calm.

_He wouldn't do that to you. He won't hurt you. He's not dad. He's better. He's Sirius_, Miranda repeated in her head, staring at her brother.

Suddenly, her arms were being grabbed violently, and he was staring at her with a snarl, almost shaking her. Her heart leapt into her throat, tears threatened her eyes. Just as quickly the madness came, the eyes melted into someone she knew. She knew that concern she had seen so often during their childhood.

"Miranda, I'm sorry," He muttered, as he his hands slipped from her arms. Her body relaxed her breath easing. She hugged him, as he squeezed her closer.

"You can't just go out like you used to, Sirius," She whispered. "I don't want you back up in there. If you do, you'll end up like Dad. I don't want that for you."

There was silence for a moment, before he pulled away, turning back into dog form. She assumed, he wasn't in his talking mood. That was the last thing he needed on top of him. She didn't want to be his guilt factor.

She paused a moment, before pulling out her wand, and putting a collar on his neck, then made him look actually clean, and changed his coat. He couldn't be walking around looking like padfoot. He needed to look like a different dog. She conjured up a leash then bent dog.

"I'm sorry," She whispered to him. "If you are going to be my pet, I have to make it look like it. I don't like binding you like this." She hugged his dog form, and then stood up, with the leash attached.

As they walked, she saw him walk happier, and she knew it was all a facade. Sirius hated being bound up to anything. It surprised her that he waited as long as he did in Azkaban. It must have been a hard time for him to deal with it. It had to be the thing that drove him mad the most.

She looked up, seeing Remus by her door, and groaned. She saw Sirius's ears perked up. They walked up to him, seeing his questioning eyes.

"Before you say one thing, He was there the night you visited, he was just sleeping in my room," She answered quickly. "I named him Achilles. It seems to fit him well, considering he is my weakness right now."

She laughed as she saw Sirius glare at her. She smirked a little wider, then and sighed. "So how are you enjoying your first weekend, Remus? Feel nice after working so hard this week?"


End file.
